What is the topic of this paper? What field is the author writing in? Identifying similarities and differences is a good first step, but strong academic argument goes further, analyzing what those similarities and differences might mean or imply. The new revision here is still concise, as well as specific and arguable.
We can see that it is specific because the writer is mentioning a concrete ideas and b exact authors. We can also gather the field business and the topic management and employee turnover.
The statement is arguable because the student goes beyond merely comparing; he or she draws conclusions from that comparison "can reduce the expenses associated with employee turnover". You can see here that the student has simply stated the paper's assignment, without articulating specifically how he or she will address it. The student can correct this error simply by phrasing the thesis statement as a specific answer to the assignment prompt.
Words like "ineffective" and "argue" show here that the student has clearly thought through the assignment and analyzed the material; he or she is putting forth a specific and debatable position. The concrete information "student interviews," "antibullying" further prepares the reader for the body of the paper and demonstrates how the student has addressed the assignment prompt without just restating that language.
A good strategy to determine if your thesis statement is too broad and therefore, not arguable is to ask yourself, "Would a scholar in my field disagree with this point? The student needs to come up with a more arguable claim, and probably a narrower one; remember that a short paper needs a more focused topic than a dissertation. Here, the student has identified a particular type of leadership "participatory leadership" , narrowing the topic, and has made an arguable claim this type of leadership is "appropriate" to a specific type of nurse educator.
Thesis Statements - Writing a Paper - Academic Guides at Walden University
Conceivably, a scholar in the nursing field might disagree with this approach. The student's paper can now proceed, providing specific pieces of evidence to support the arguable central claim.
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There are many words in this sentence that may be buzzwords in the student's field or key terms taken from other texts, but together they do not communicate a clear, specific meaning. Sometimes students think scholarly writing means constructing complex sentences using special language, but actually it's usually a stronger choice to write clear, simple sentences. When in doubt, remember that your ideas should be complex, not your sentence structure. Notice in the revision that the field is now clear ecology , and the language has been made much more field-specific "conservation methods," "green organizations" , so the reader is able to see concretely the ideas the student is communicating.
This claim is the type of claim that might be appropriate for the conclusion of a paper, but in the beginning of the paper, the student is left with nowhere to go. What further points can be made? If there are "always alternatives" to the problem the student is identifying, then why bother developing a paper around that claim? Ideally, a thesis statement should be complex enough to explore over the length of the entire paper.
In the revised thesis, you can see the student make a specific, debatable claim that has the potential to generate several pages' worth of discussion.
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When drafting a thesis statement, think about the questions your thesis statement will generate: What follow-up inquiries might a reader have? In the first example, there are almost no additional questions implied, but the revised example allows for a good deal more exploration.
If you are having trouble getting started, try using the models below to generate a rough model of a thesis statement!
These models are intended for drafting purposes only and should not appear in your final work. When drafting your thesis statement, avoid words like explore, investigate, learn, compile, summarize , and explain to describe the main purpose of your paper.
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These words imply a paper that summarizes or "reports," rather than synthesizing and analyzing. Instead of the terms above, try words like argue, critique, question , and interrogate. There are three kinds of papers: analytical , expository , and argumentative.
The structure of a thesis statement depends upon the nature of controlling essay type. In simple terms, first a thesis statement will have a main topic sentence formed from questioning it, then the writer's statement regarding the topic sentence, and finally ends with the specific supporting points detailing the writer's statement for justifying its relation with the topic sentence. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. This is the latest accepted revision , reviewed on 14 October This article is written like a manual or guidebook.
Please help rewrite this article from a descriptive, neutral point of view , and remove advice or instruction.
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